RAVE BAE?

Rave baes…So that’s a thing. For those of you who are wondering what a ‘Rave Bae” is here is the Urban Dictionary definition, you know, because that is be all end all of what things mean…

So because I am not sure how I feel about this definition (although the use of it in a sentence examples are hysterical), I thought I’d come up with my own. A “Rave Bae” is essentially someone who you didn’t come to the event with who you end up spending your evening with. I don’t want say ‘rave bae’ has to be a romantic thing, because I think you can have a platonic ‘rave bae.‘ With valentines day coming up I thought it would be fun to talk a little bit about this weird little festival quirk, what can make it fun, what can make it…strange, and maybe tell a few of my own ‘rave bae’ stories.

First things first how does a ‘rave bae’ situation even happen. Well in my case it has happened a few ways, some way more intensely than others. My first “Rave Bae” I actually met because I was with a group of friends who had adopted me into their rave fam and he knew a couple of them. We ended up hitting it off and spending the rest of the final day of the events hanging out together. At the end of the event I went my way and he went his and it was actually very nice experience of being ‘couple-y’ without actually having to be in a relationship. Honestly that is one of the reasons why I would say if you find yourself in a rave bae situation just go for it. It can be so nice to spend an evening with someone, running around together, holding hands with a complete stranger and just experience the happy, lovey dove vibes that, let’s be honest, you probably aren’t going that have with an actual significant other (because couples fight). In a sense you get all of the best elements of a relationship with none of the downsides, and if you get tired of them you can just vanish back into the crowd.

Another way I have ended up with a rave bae is matching with people on dating apps that are at the same festival and meeting up at the event. Now this way is a little less random and way more straight forward, because we all know how tinder and bumble and the nine million other dating apps work. Now, the ‘rave bae’ experience I have had through this method have both been awesome, but both were after spending time talking before hand. I feel like it is important to say that you should just let it happen naturally. Don’t try and force a connection because…why would you?

Do you have more rave bae experiences when you are solo, or when you are with your rave fam. Now personally, I am someone who even if they go to an event with a group tends to wander off at some point, and if we are talking about an event that is multiple days, I might event spend a whole day alone at the festival. I would say that you are probably more likely to run into a rave bae situation if you are on your own, because I think that solo female ravers tend to get adopted by groups a lot more often. At the end of the day it is something that should happen naturally.

Now as I have brought up before, there is definitely a way not to approach someone you are into at a festival. In fact I tend to lean towards the principle thatuyou should just leave people alone. If you want to talk to someone and they don’t seem into it, maybe let them go and move on with your life. I think the most important point that I wanted to make with this, is that as fun as it can be to have a ‘rave bae’ for one day at a festival, you shouldn’t be using festivals and raves as some sort of creepy hunting ground to hit on people. Festivals should be about dancing to great music, letting go, and having a great time, not harassing people because you don’t want to be alone. If you are trying to talk to someone and they don’t want to talk to you, leave them alone. Don’t just start dancing someone without permission. That’s not okay. Don’t grab people, don’t be an asshole, consent is sexy and you should be getting it before you touch someone.

That might have been a depressing way to finish this, so instead I end on a bit of a lighter note. So I think the randomest rave bae experience I have ever had was at day two of SnowGlobe this past year. After spending a ton of time in my groups cabin with about fifteen other people I was in need to some major space and alone time. The night before day two I had been scrolling through tinder to kill time and distract myself from my half dead feet, I had a few matches and two of them had messaged me. I talked with both of them for a bit and one of them told me his groups totem and said if I saw it I should come say hi. Now about halfway through the second day of the event I decided to separate from my group and wander around a little bit. Long story short I ended up trapped inside the only stage in a tent, pressed up against a massive group of strangers and literally being pushed around anytime anyone else tried to get to the exit. I noticed that the group of guys in front of me were trying to get out too. They were all like six feet tall and massive so I figured people would probably get out of their way, which they wouldn’t do for my five foot three inches self. So, I tapped on of them on the shoulder and asked if they could help me get out. He was super nice and helped pull me through the crowd with them. When we finally for out I thanked him and finally looked up at the totem they had. It was the same one the guy I had matched with had told me to look for. I asked him if anyone in the group was named ‘Mitchel’ and it turned out that he had been him the whole time. We hit it off and spend the rest of day two of the event together. This is what I mean about things happening naturally. I didn’t set out looking to run into him and have a great time dancing the night away with a stranger, but somehow we ended up finding each other despite the lack of cell service, and the fact that there were literally thousands of other people I could have bumped into.

I have another rave bae story but honestly that one I think needs to have it’s own storytime because the whole thing was so insane. Anyhoo, ‘rave baes’ are fun, weird little quirk of festivals and just another thing that makes the culture so fun, but like with everything else it is important to be respectful of others personal space and level of comfort. Have fun, party hard, and be safe.