WHY I RAVE SOLO

Raving Solo is one of my favorite things to do, which I know sounds kind of crazy, especially to people who usually go to festivals with big groups of friends or their rave fam. I will say, I have been to events with big groups as well as with a single friend or two, and though I always have a great time, I don’t think it compares to the time that I spend at an event by myself. Let me explain.

I have always been someone who was alright being on my own. I’m not quite a full-on introvert, but I have never let not having people to go with me stop me from doing something or going anywhere. When I first moved to Los Angeles, I didn’t know anyone, which meant that I didn't have a huge group of friends to go to clubs with, and then even as I started making friends, not all of them were interested in EDM. After going to clubs around the city by myself for a couple of weeks I began to meet more and more people, but I was already hooked on going solo. Even now, I often choose to attend events by myself even when I have the option to bring people with me.

There are a lot of reasons why I prefer to go to shows and festivals by myself. I think the most important one is that I like the freedom to float around and do my own thing. Yes, if you are with a group, you can split off and return to the larger group when you want, but I find that not having that safety net of a group of friends forces you to be more adventurous and open to meeting new people. I often attend events alone and then get adopted by larger groups, thus making a ton of new friends but without the obligation to hang out any longer than I want to. Yes, you do sometimes meet people when you are with a group, but at least in my experience, I always make more connections and talk to more people when I am by myself. This is most likely because when I am with someone at an event, I feel obligated to stay with them, even if I’d rather be somewhere else. Groups have a way of making everyone feel like they need to stick together, but when you remove that safety net/obligation you are way more free to go up to someone and start a conversation.

Being alone has also allowed me to be way more in the moment. When you are with a group there is always going to be a little more focus on set times, meeting points, staying together, finding one another again, etc. Yeah, if you are a very organized group, then there is not too much stress involved, but the potential is always there. Going to an event alone means you can go where you want when you want. If I want to leave a set early, I don’t need to try and set up a meeting point or a specific time I need to come back to the main stage. Again, all of this may sound really silly and not that big of a deal, but once you have experienced the difference, you’ll wonder how you weren’t frustrated all the time when you went to events with big groups.

There is no drama and no waiting. I can only speak for myself, but when I am alone, I don’t have any drama. I’m not saying that drama can’t be fun, but I don’t want it anywhere near my festival experiences. I go to raves to dance and lose myself in the experience and the music, not to listen to someone complain about their boyfriend or girlfriend being annoying or anything else. Another bonus is that there is no waiting. No waiting for people so you can go to sets, not waiting because someone else wandered off and the group needs to find them, no waiting for people to get ready. No waiting. If you aren’t impatient like me then maybe that isn’t the best reason, but…come on, no one wants to be late for a set because someone was taking forever to do their hair.

I think that the biggest hurdle to get over with going to events alone is always the initial awkwardness while you get your bearings. This is much more of an issue at club shows then at proper festivals because the culture is a little different. However, the first time you do anything alone, there is a very high chance you are going to feel a little strange. You are stepping out of your comfort zone, and that is always going to be a little weird. Once I got over the feelings I had about being alone and started to get comfortable it became easier and easier to be alone. After the third event, I attended alone, I could easily switch mentalities and embrace how wonderful it was to let go of all of the craziness of a group.

The only other issue I have experienced while attending events alone is being hit on by strangers who assume that because you are alone, you want to meet them. If you are a woman attending an event alone, the sad truth is that you are probably going to be approached by some random guy you don’t want to talk to. Most of the time if you make it clear you want to be left alone then this isn’t too much of a problem, but it can get irritating very quickly. This is one of the few cases where not being part of a group is a little bit of a detriment. However, this problem is really only a big one if you let it be. The great thing about festivals is that it is really easy to get away from someone being creepy in a crowd of thousands.

The final reason that I like to rave by myself is that, even when I am with a group, I always have a very individual experience. Yes, it can be nice to experience things with other people, but at the end of the day, all of us are alone. I know how depressing that sounds, but it’s the truth. We all experience things in a solitary way because that is how our brains work. We don’t have a hive mind, and unless you are an empath, you can’t feel what the members of your group are feeling. Your experience will always be your own, no matter who you are with. I think this is why I rave solo more than anything else. For me, when I am listening to the music, I often close my eyes and lose myself in the moment, thus literally shutting out the rest of the world around me. It is my time to be at one with myself and truly let every emotion I feel come to the surface. My experience with raving has always been a spiritual one, and like most spiritual moments, it often means more when I am alone to process it all. Again, that isn’t to say that it is impossible with groups, but I have found that I am only really free of everything outside of myself when I can be alone at an event.

This isn’t to say that raving with friends is bad, or that there is only one right way to enjoy an event because we are all different and have different needs. I just hope to give you a perspective that might allow you to understand why some many people chose to attend events alone. That being said, if you haven’t tried raving solo, I would strongly urge you to try it out, even if you only do so one time. It is an experience that is completely different from the norm. If you want to try raving solo but don’t know where to begin, check out my guide to RAVING SOLO. In that post, I break down everything you need to know and think about if you are planning on trying it out.